"She Kicked My Dog!"

Go directly to the Ultimate Kerpal Soundboard

From the moment I heard those words, my life was changed. Every time I watch it, I find something new to laugh at. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, you should watch this. You'll need the Macromedia Flash plug-in to view it, which is available here. Now that's all well and good, but you really can't dance to it. If you'd like to dance to Kerpal, click here (650KB MP3). It's 41 seconds of audio bliss for you to shake your moneymaker to. So, I longed for Kerpal to call my friends and neighbors and accuse their daughters of kicking his dog. I found the original Kerpal soundboard. However, it had its limitations. If your neighbor had more than one daughter, Kerpal couldn't tell him it was "the one who just answered the phone" that had kicked his dog. The buttons weren't very organized, so you had to hunt around to find the saying you were looking for, which often made my neighbors suspicious that it wasn't actually Kerpal calling, and perhaps he really didn't live down the street from them. If you pressed a button more than once, or if you pressed a button while another sound was playing, Kerpal would actually say two things at once, which is quite a feat in itself. Also, several of my favorite phrases were sorely absent. As they say, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." I could see this was my only option. So I fired up the computer and started slicing and dicing. The end result is visible here. I had created my very own soundboard, complete with almost EVERYTHING that Kerpal says in his notorious phone call. If you need Kerpal to stop saying one thing and then say something else, you can just click the appropriate button, and the old sound will be stopped. I've tried to organize the sayings so that similar sayings are grouped together. The buttons aren't all the same size, since that makes it easier to navigate (human factors experts say that an array of evenly spaced, evenly sized buttons are difficult to use). That's not to say that it isn't without its flaws. Some of the phrases are obscured by either Abtar or his dog-kicking daughter saying something in the background. As I am lacking software that will allow me to remove this background noise, I had to leave them as they were in the original call.

Comments? Suggestions? Contact the creator of this soundboard at ultimatekerpal@hotmail.com Or you can post your thoughts at the Ultimate Kerpal Message Board. Complaints? Flames? Hatemail? Don't bother. Those will be deleted because I don't care. Kerpal's dog has been kicked 9960 times!